You got bagel in my pretzel! You got pretzel in my bagel!

It’s a pretzel-bagel/bagel-pretzel. Either way it’s yum-tastic.

I jokingly call my boyfriend “the everything bagel bandit” because he leaves a trail of everything bagel toppings wherever he goes. Small piles of dried garlic and poppy seeds form in the rubber lining of the fridge door. They settle into the driver’s seat of his car and somehow find their way onto our couch’s throw pillows. I can’t blame him for his fondness. If I had the kind of metabolism that could support eating a half a loaf of bread’s worth of carbohydrates a day I would be all over that shit. Garlic, onion, salt, sesame and poppy seeds? Yes please. Never one to miss out I keep a jar of “everything bagel spice” on hand at all times. It’s a simple mix that takes a mere minute to throw together. It is amazing on popcorn (blend it up in a spice grinder first lest the pieces fall off), or on light toast with cream cheese, or as a topping on today’s project: bagel pretzels/pretzel bagels.

Portion control. Wasn’t that a song by Prince?

I avoid making really serious breads because my KitchenAid is jacked at the moment. The metal on the mixing bowl is dented which means the bowl doesn’t lock in. I have to hold onto the bowl with both arms and my chest in a full body hug that makes it look as if the mixer and I are about to tandem base jump. In fact the only reason I attempted this was because my refrigerator was being threatened with a hostile takeover from the sourdough starter I grew this week. Since my man likes to have his “daily bagel” this is one of the best ways for me to use up the portions of starter dough that would normally meet their end in the trash. I HATE to waste anything, if you haven’t gathered that by now.

This recipe is heavier than a pretzel but lighter than a bagel. It’s full of wonderful flavors and has a healthy amount of chew. They’re also thankfully smaller than a deli bagel.

Everything bagel spice mix:

note: This is less a recipe than a ratio. Like 2 parts to 1 part, a part could be a teaspoon, tablespoon, or a gallon. Go nuts.

2 parts toasted sesame seeds

2 parts dried onion flakes

2 parts dried garlic

1 part pretzel salt or corse sea salt

1 part poppy seeds

Mix together. Done.

Bagel Pretzels:

This recipe is adapted from the King Arthur Flour site:

Makes 12 bagel pretzels. You don’t need a scale but it will make this easier. Also I recommend using barley malt syrup, (found in many health food stores) over the use of sugar. In a pinch blackstrap molasses can be used.

3 cups bread flour

1/4 cup nonfat milk powder

2 tsp salt

2 tsp yeast

1 1/2 cups sourdough starter

1/2 cup water, body temp

1 tablespoon malt syrup or sugar plus 1 tablespoon for the boiling water

1 tablespoon oil

1/2 cup everything bagel spice mix

1. In a hopefully not jacked up mixer combine all of the dry ingredients and mix with a paddle attachment.
2. Add the sourdough, water, malt/sugar, and oil. Mix until everything comes together.
3. Swap to the hook attachment and mix the dough until it forms a ball that moves around the bowl. It should be slightly sticky and somewhat smooth. Hold the dough in a lightly oiled bowl topped with plastic wrap (or better yet Bee’s Wrap or equivalent.) Allow the dough to rest for about 45 minutes.
4. 20 minutes into the resting preheat your oven to 350°F.
5. Once the dough has rested/risen place the dough on a lightly oiled surface (I used my wooden butcher block.) Gently press down on the dough with flattened hands to press out any giant bubbles and expel excess gas. Fold the
   

   Keep it nice n’ tight.

   dough over on its self a couple of times and press again.

6. Using a scale measure the dough into 2.25-2.75 oz portions You should get an even dozen. If you don’t have a scale stop what you’re doing and go get one. Or I gueeesssss you can eyeball it and keep cutting the dough in half until you have twelve equal sized pieces. Get a large pot boiling with water and 1 tablespoon of malt syrup or sugar while you roll.
7. Now we roll out. It’s really easy once you have a feel for it but I have included pictures to help out. Start by flattening one piece of dough with your palm. Using your thumbs and forefingers roll the dough up towards you in a cigar shape. Once you have a little oblong log of dough roll it out into a snake about 18# long, with tapered ends.
   

   Action shot: Use your entire hand, no fingertips!

   Make sure you roll the dough using your whole hand, not your fingertips.

   

   Snake-y.

   Fingertips apply uneven pressure. Once you have a nice long snake pick up each end with your hands and quickly twist the dough ends together, going around twice.

   

   “Let’s twist again…”

   Fold the twisted ends back over the dough and press the ends into the bottom of the pretzel. Viola. Pretzeled! Got it? Good, place the pretzel on a parchment lined baking sheet and repeat with the remaining eleven pieces of dough.

8. At this point your water should be boiling. Dunk your pretzels into the water, four at a time, and allow to boil for 1 minute. Remove and place back onto the baking tray.
9. While your second and third batches of pretzels are boiling sprinkle the freshly boiled pretzels with your spice mix. Once all of the bagel pretzels are boiled and flavored bake them in the preheated oven for 45 minutes or until they are shiny and golden brown.
10. Serve anyway you like. I had to eat one hot out of the oven, no one will judge if you have to do the same. If you have a pretzel that looks more like a roll and less like a pretzel then use it as such. They make a great bun for all kinds of sandwiches.
    

    D’aww, so cute.